A New Day

A New Day

As I look back I can see now that life wasn’t as great as it could have been. My mother was flighty and scatterbrained, and most the time she forgot she even had kids, or she just didn’t care. I was forgotten a lot growing up. My brother and I pretty much looked after each other. When I was eleven my mother and her boyfriend decided to take a trip somewhere and when I woke the next day no one was home, no note, no money, and no call. Luckily my brother was never too far away, he knew how my mother was and came to check on me once in a while, make sure I was fed and alive. # “Has anyone seen my shoes” I searched all over for them and couldn’t find them anywhere, it's not surprising my stuff usually came up missing. I saw my mother leave the house, as I heard the cops approaching the door and decided to exit the back, bare feet were better than staying there, my mother was nowhere in sight, it’s not surprising that she just left me behind…story of my life. The house we have been crashing at was on constant guard of being busted by the cops. Low lives and drug addicts alike just showed up there at all hours of the night, it was like a hostel, except worse, maybe I would have been better off at one. I sat on the curb down the road waiting to see if anyone showed to pick me up. Though I wasn’t counting on my mother showing up, my brother might at least and help me out. I was used to being alone and taking care of myself, but sometimes it just got to be too much for me to go it alone. It was always nice to have someone to partner with…maybe he could get my shoes back from whichever scum took them. After what felt like hours later my brother showed up with some people. I could tell he was high on something as I approached him. This life isn't a great place to stay sober, you're encouraged to participate because it's all around you, drugs and alcohol are easier to get than food. “Hey”

“Hey, sis!” With a look at my feet and most likely picking up on my mood, he laughed “Where are your shoes?”

“There was a bust a couple hours ago…” Before I could finish the people he was with ran inside. They must be checking their stashes.

Raising his eyebrow at me he said: “What does that have to do with your shoes?”

I couldn't help but roll my eyes like it wasn't obvious why I had no shoes on. “Well the cops showed and mom left and I couldn’t find them so I just sneaked out the back door barefoot.”

“And mom?”

Looking toward to ground and kicking the dirt beneath my bare foot I told him: “Forgot about me of course”

He put an arm around my shoulder, he told me to stay outside and he would find my shoes. He finally came back out pulling by the arm one of the girls that were there when the cops came. She handed me shoes, and said sorry…she didn’t mean it, I could hear it in her voice, and her face told all. My brother must have made her come out with him.

“Thanks, but these aren’t mine.” I couldn’t help keep the irritation out of my voice, I know I sounded like a bitch but I was getting so fed up with people taking what they wanted: like my room, my house, and my belongings.

“April, just take them” I glanced at my brother and couldn’t believe he would just brush it off. Was he not sick of this life too?!

“You are supposed to be on my side, Kevin!” “These shoes won’t even FIT ME” I flung them back at Kevin and the girl as I headed toward the house to find out who really stole my shoes. I knew I should have just left it alone. I should be used to this life by now. But I was fed up, I was on the verge of a breakdown. I am 15 years old. I shouldn’t have to deal with all this.

By the time my brother caught up I was getting off the floor, my elbow bleeding and a jaw that felt like it was swelling. I didn’t care, these people weren’t going to beat me today. With a hint of worry in his voice, covered by exasperation my brother yelled: “April, just stop!”

“It’s my life Kevin, I can’t just let this go” I could feel the tears forming that would make me look weak, but I was so fed up I couldn’t stop them from rolling down my face. I was about to lunge for the guy that punched me, but my brother caught me around the waist, threw me back and confronted the guy instead. This wasn’t going to end well… I grabbed whatever I could and stuffed it into my backpack, there was no way I was staying here tonight. I hopped the gate to the high school to sleep on the bleachers for the night. Luckily it was clear skies and the weather wasn’t too cold. As I looked up at the stars that weren’t hidden by the neighborhood lights, I started to dream of a life that wasn’t so complicated. One where I could live inside a house that wasn’t on the verge of getting raided by the cops every night, one I could have my own space in without worrying someone would steal from me when I wasn’t looking, or worse when I was sleeping. I was so worn out, I fell asleep. I woke to the warmth of the sun shining down upon me. It was a new day. Maybe today I could start finding my own way. To start, maybe I could get my brother do the same…

I arrived at the house to find my brother, among others passed out on the floor and couches. Drug paraphernalia scattered among them. I approached my brother across the room, my heart was racing, it didn’t look like he was breathing… I wasn’t going to lose my brother today, he was the last person I had left to turn too. I tried shaking Kevin awake, I called his name softly, so I wouldn’t wake up the others—that’s the last thing I needed—but he wouldn’t wake. As tears fell down my face I checked his pulse, it was faint. As I stood I grabbed the nearest cell phone and dialed 911. “911 What’s your emergency?” “I found someone not breathing, it looks like a drug overdose” “Stay calm and tell me where you are located” “1067 W. Green St” “The fire department is on their way” “Okay” I dropped the cell phone, kissed my brothers cheek, grabbed a pair of shoes that looked like they would fit, some cash off the table and ran out the door. I hit the end of the driveway, took one last look at the house I would never see again and walked down the road to start my new life.

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Homeless Youth Awareness Month is in November. To start my Awareness quest I thought I would start with a short story of 15 yr old girl that thought she had no other option but to be homeless. I will be thinking a lot about this story as I extend it and bring to it facts about homeless youth.

Don't judge someone by what they look like or where they live. You never know what their inside struggle may be, or their living situation. Offer help when you can. Never offer hate. Hate brings on a feeling of depression, like you have no way out of what you were dealt. Which would bring us to my March Awareness Short Story called: The Hidden Truth, found in my blog. Sign up for my newsletter, so you don't miss part two of A New Day! Thank you for reading!